i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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