I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize