How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize