she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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