Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize