Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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