Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?

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  (617): What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you? http://tfl.nu/svb6
  Replies (31) Good night (4547) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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  (305): I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez" http://tfl.nu/8edj
  Replies (18) Good night (6738) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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  (585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy
  Replies (21) Good night (1460) Bad night (3707) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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  (662): looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme http://tfl.nu/w8jn
  Replies (16) Good night (3656) Bad night (1467) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

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  (785): Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know. http://tfl.nu/7et1
  Replies (12) Good night (2346) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

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  (336): Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep? http://tfl.nu/earn
  Replies (9) Good night (3461) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room

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  (203): but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room http://tfl.nu/z6gy
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (3147)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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  (732): apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums http://tfl.nu/96xk
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (1774) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out

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  (814): Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out http://tfl.nu/m2bp
  Replies (6) Good night (1521) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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  (845): I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties http://tfl.nu/lvqb
  Replies (12) Good night (2340) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

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  (207): I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me. http://tfl.nu/zr5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1311) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours

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  (337): Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours http://tfl.nu/650i
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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  (708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?

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  (774): What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/2yid
  Replies (8) Good night (189) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.

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  (201): Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/pcyi
  Replies (8) Good night (373) Bad night (980)

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