in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
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i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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