just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
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no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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