i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize