Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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