Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
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If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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