The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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