I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize