Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
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I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
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Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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