dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize