yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize