Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
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I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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