you guys were way drunker than both of me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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