So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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