so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize