after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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