im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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