I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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