"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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