Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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