I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
His nipple licking is glorious
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