I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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