i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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