is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dick very happy bro
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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