her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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