can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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