Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize