You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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