it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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