He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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