it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize