worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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