There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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