I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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