i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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