I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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