It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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