I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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