Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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