I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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