Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize