So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize