Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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