I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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